Dear Hayley,
My family is seriously starting to stress me out, and I’m really not sure what to do. I’ve been qualified for two years now, and I’m finally starting to get really busy at work. I’m employed five days a week in a salon, but I still live at home with my mum and my family are constantly dropping round to ask for haircuts on my days off and at night too. I just don’t know how to say no! I used to enjoy practising, but now I’m just exhausted when I get in after work. They do pay me a little, but it’s nowhere near what I charge in the salon. My mum doesn’t really help, and she thinks I’m being mean when I tell her I don’t want to do everyone in my time off anymore. What can I do? I hear you talk about burnout a lot and I’m worried it’s going to happen to me.
Thank you, Shannon
Hi Shannon,
It can be really hard managing the expectations of family – trust me, all hairdressers have been there at one point or another!
What makes it difficult is that we need them to practise on when we are learning, but then we reach a point when we’re qualified and busy with our own clientele. By that point, they’ve already gotten used to cheap haircuts at their convenience, and it’s hard to change their minds. This sounds like where you are.
You are very smart to be thinking about burnout, and also recognising that this issue with your family could really contribute to it if it’s left too long. So, I think you have a few questions to ask yourself to start sorting this out: Are you happy to do any family at home? Would you be happy doing certain hours in your time off for a better price? Or do you want to stop altogether?
What you definitely need to start putting in place is boundaries. Either the boundary of ‘I only do hair at work’ or ‘I only do family on these evenings at this price’. Now, I get this might feel terrifying and you might feel guilty, but if you let it carry on you will feel resentful and get burnt out. So, the first step is to decide what you actually want to do.
Next, I would have a proper chat with your mum about how you are feeling and get her on board to support you. Explain to her that you are tired when you come home from work and don’t want to burn out. You really need to rest and recharge when you’re not at work. Then, I would send a message to all the family whose hair you do and explain your new rules – make sure you say thank you for all the years they let you practise on them, but explain that this is no longer possible for you as you are now busy working full time. I get this is really tough, but the longer it goes on the worse it will get. You are smart to nip this in the bud.
Good luck. I’m rooting for you!
Hayley
