I have a hunch that hairdressing attracts a higher-than-average number of so-called people-pleasers. Who else could stand behind the chair for 14 hours a day, making other people feel great while surviving on four coffees and a handful of Lotus biscuits?
‘Never ruffle anyone’s feathers.’ ‘Never hurt anyone’s feelings.’ ‘Never stop smiling.’ ‘Remember, the client is always right.’ As a woman, I’d been conditioned to follow these rules as early as I can remember, and they followed me right into my business too.
How does this show up in your business? We will often call it people-pleasing. It takes the form of not taking deposits because you don’t want clients to think you don’t trust them, or not raising Doris’s prices because she’s come to you for years and her husband isn’t well. Things like squeezing clients into time that doesn’t exist and pushing your own social life out of the way because you can’t bear to say no to a long-standing regular.
So, what was the main way I managed to shift out of my own people-pleasing patterns? I called it what it is: Self-Abandonment.
Really, when you think about it, talking about ‘pleasing people’ sounds kind of sweet, doesn’t it? But the term ignores what’s happening on the other side – the side where you’re left feeling depleted, resentful and like an under-earning, over-worked doormat.
What can you do to stop this? Rather than going the complete opposite way – i.e., ruling with an iron fist and telling clients what you really think when they ask if you can squeeze them in this Saturday – you need to aim for what I call ‘The Three Wins’. This is sort of like a win/win, but this time your business has a seat at the table, too.
You need to think about how you can keep (1) your client happy, (2) your business happy and, (3) do it in a way that makes you feel happy too. Maybe that means you take deposits across the board for all clients, for all visits.
This way, no one is being ‘punished’; it’s simply a part of doing business with you that becomes the norm. Clients know it applies to everyone (plus, they get to pay less at the till, so it’s practically free! – girl math!) and the business is happy because you’re not losing out if people don’t show up. This will also quickly repel the time wasters and attract respectful clients who value your time and expertise.
Maybe it means getting clearer on what hours you’re happy to work and setting up a list of VIP clients who get ‘early access’ to your booking link? This way, it leaves your ride-or-die clients feeling appreciated, it teaches them to book in ahead of time, it helps you keep to your correct hours AND the business is happy because you know well ahead of time what your bookings, and therefore cash flow, should look like.
Maybe it’s finally getting around to working out your correct prices and building some different service offerings to suit different budgets. No, you’re not undercutting yourself (everything needs to be profitable!), but you could offer a service that refreshes a balayage without the need for the full shebang, so the client has options.
Whatever you choose to do, why not aim for three wins? And just wait and see how your business (and life!) transforms…
