What initially drew me to the book Radical Candor by Kim Scott was the reality of managing a team. If I’m honest, I think many business owners fall into one of two traps: we’re either overly empathetic with people and trying not to upset anyone, or we end up coming across as insincere and manipulative in the way we deliver feedback. Radical Candor sits right in the middle of that. The premise is very simple – care personally while challenging directly. In other words, you care about the individual as a human being, but you’re also honest enough to tell them the truth about their performance.
Now that may sound obvious, but in practice it’s surprisingly difficult. Most salon owners will recognise the scenario where someone isn’t quite cutting it – maybe their consultation is weak, their timekeeping is slipping or their results just aren’t consistent – but instead of addressing it straight away, we skirt around it and avoid the conversation because we don’t want to make things awkward. However, what Radical Candor points out is that this can actually make things far worse.
There’s an example in the book about a manager who avoided telling a long-standing employee that his work wasn’t good enough. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so the feedback never came. Eventually, she had to let him go for underperformance. His response was simple: “Why didn’t you tell me?” That really stuck with me. Because the truth is, by avoiding the conversation, she had actually failed him as a leader. I think many of us have done the same thing at some point. In hairdressing, criticism can feel particularly personal. We’ve all been there – someone pointing out that a haircut wasn’t quite right or a colour hasn’t landed. It’s easy to remember what that feels like and try to cushion everything in layers of reassurance, but sometimes the most respectful thing you can do for someone is simply be honest. The book talks about something called ‘ruinous empathy’. That is when you care so much about someone’s feelings that you avoid giving them the feedback they genuinely need to grow. Short term, it feels kinder.
Long term, it holds them back. One principle I also believe in is about praising in public and critiquing in private. No one wants to be called out in front of the whole team, but recognising someone’s achievements publicly – when they’re consistently delivering great work, five-star reviews or smashing their KPIs – that’s powerful. It reinforces the behaviours you want to see more of. At the same time, when something isn’t right, the conversation needs to happen calmly and privately. Not as a reprimand, but as a discussion about development.
This isn’t teacher-to-student or parent-to-child; it’s adult-to-adult. It’s a conversation about helping someone achieve their goals, and that only works if you actually know what those goals are.
Another part of leadership that’s closely linked to this is building a cohesive team. For me, that’s about creating shared goals that everyone buys into – not just targets I’ve set from the top down. When the team is invested in those outcomes, celebrating success together becomes meaningful.
We’ve done this over the years with team meals, trips away or rewards that are genuinely worth having. If you’re going to celebrate success, it has to feel like something special. In my opinion, leadership isn’t about being in charge; it’s about taking care of the people in your charge. And that’s where ‘radical candor’ becomes so important. Because if you genuinely care about someone’s progression, you have an obligation to tell them what might be holding them back. Not as criticism, but as a way forward.
In fact, I quite like the idea of thinking about it as ‘feed-forward’, rather than feedback. It’s less about dwelling on what went wrong and more about asking how we improve from here. So, if there’s one takeaway from this concept, it’s this: don’t be afraid of candid conversations.
People often value honesty far more than polite avoidance, mainly because honesty helps them grow. And ultimately, growth – for individuals, teams and businesses – is exactly what good leadership should be about.
